Why lasagna?

Mmmmm... Kate's lasagna!

What did they eat at that long dinner table in O'Neill's Ah, Wilderness?  What meal was served in Theresa Rebeck's and Alex Gerston's Omnium Gatherum?  Do the actors eat that turkey dinner in Tracy Letts's August, Osage County, or is it a fake turkey and stale bread?  Haven't you wondered?  Well, now I can let the secret out of the bag.  In Mike Towers play Five Down, One Across, for example, his characters eat lasagna.  In fact, not only do they eat it, they compete about who's got the best recipe!  Yes, we see them eating, but WHAT are they eating?  I'll tell you.  Are you ready?   WAIT FOR IT....They're eating lasagna.  And not just any lasagna, it's MY lasagna!  Well, it's the Moosewood Cookbook's vegetarian lasagna, but it comes from my kitchen.  I made two batches--one for the first two weeks of performance, and one for the last two weeks (yes, we freeze them).  I've begun to like cooking noodles and layering cheese.  It comes easy to me.  (Easier than writing plays, so I may change professions.)  Part of what you see onstage is glue and lacquered noodles not touched by the actors' forks, and the other part is edible, recently unfrozen Moosewood (a la Kate's Kitchen) lasagna measured out nightly by the loving hands of our wonderful stage manager Marsha.  She's got it down to a science.  I wish I did.  My next goal is to talk Michael into writing a play WITHOUT lasagna in it.  No turkeys, no mashed potatoes, no food of any kind.  I wonder what that play would be about?  Mike? 
Kate