Test tubes are for losers!

Earlier this week, I sat down (well, I sat -- they were sort of globbily all over the place) with the stars of alum Ginger Lazarus’ new play, The Embryos.The play is one of three works featured in The Rhombus Readings this weekend at BPT.

KAM: So, uh, I had hoped to ask the playwright – You know, Ginger? – a few questions about her play. What are you two doing here?

EGGO: Huh? Whuh she say?

LEGGO: Whuh we doing here. Somethin' bout..."play."

EGGO: I like tuh play.

LEGGO: No Xbox here, stupid!

EGGO: Oh. ...Food? How bout food? Ask huh.

LEGGO: Yuh ask huh!

EGGO: 'Kay.... (ahem) Pizzzza??

KAM: Uh…okay. I have a frozen…no, I’ll order a pizza for you guys. That’s better, right? But in the meantime, maybe you guys could answer a couple of questions? About the play? Like, how’d you guys end up with your own play in the first place? Not many embryos can claim that, I don’t think…

EGGO: Got outta thuh test tube.

LEGGO: Shuddup, I'm answerin! We got outta thuh test tube.

EGGO: Busted out.

LEGGO: Yuh! Test tubes are fuh losers.

They're not in here...

EGGO: We Super Stars! I like tuh sing.

LEGGO: Super Stars? We like, Mega-Supra-Ultra Stars with Extra Helpings of Awesome.

EGGO: And potatoes.

LEGGO: We ROCK. We Champions of thuh World. No show big enough fuh us.

EGGO: But itsa start.

KAM: I see. Yes, I suppose that is noteworthy, to be free of a test tube like that. I can understand how a playwright would want to write about that. You’re not quite fully-formed, and yet make such an impression… Tell me – for our readers – what can people look forward to about the reading? Why should they come see you?

EGGO: I sing!

LEGGO: Yuh, we know!

EGGO: And we eat. We eat uh whole lot!

LEGGO: I'll eat yuh if yuh don't shuddit. Listen up: Come see us, cuz we got uh message.

EGGO: We do?

LEGGO: Oh, yuh. Fuh all yuhs—yuh fatsos with all those billions uh extra cells that make yuh think yuh better than us. We got uh message, aright.

EGGO: Whuzzit?

LEGGO: Give us whuh we want or...yuh'll see.

KAM: Is that a threat? Because people aren’t going to want to come to a play reading if they feel, you know, endangered… Leggo, you seem like the, uh, brains here. Can you tell me about the goals for the reading? Has Ginger shared any of that with you guys?

LEGGO: Brains, duh. Lesse, goals. Goal One: show world awesomeness of Embryos. Goal Two: make Embryos still more awesome. Oh, and, uh...don't worry bout coming tuh thuh reading. Gonna be nice.  Gonna have refreshments.

EGGO: Yuh can eat them before we eat—

LEGGO: SHHHHHHHHH!!

Ginger Lazarus

KAM: (Aside) Somehow, I’m getting a bad feeling about all this. (Pause) Okay then, one more question: Eggo, what’s your favorite song?

EGGO: Yuuuuuuh’re heeeeeeeeeere, there’s nothin I fear, cuz yuh’re here in my heart and my heart will go ooooooo-oooooonnn—

LEGGO: Guh! Thanks a lot. Who wanna hear that?

EGGO: Yuh just jealous.

LEGGO: Come to thuh show. Gonna be awesome, even tho Eggo sings.

EGGO: And Leggo talks.

LEGGO: Cuz we are thuh Embryos, beatches!

Meet The Embryos in the flesh on Sunday, Sept. 18 at 4 p.m. at BPT. Rhombus will also host readings of plays by members Joe Byers (The Fakus, Sept. 16 at 8 p.m.) and Patrick Gabridge (Flight, Sept. 17 at 8 p.m.).